through the looking glass

I feel so strange today. im sitting outside on the balcony watching the wind go by but its odd because im not taking any of it in. im trying to concentrate on the beauty of the summer day around me but my mind is suspened elsewhere. its trapped in a long and dark tunnel with no end. people keep telling me to keep going and that there is always a light at the end, but as of now i am clueless to where it is hidden. maybe im just running in circles, too confused to know whats right from left. ive tried to just turn around, to go back and follow the trail of bread crumbs i left behind me, but they seem to have been eaten along the way.




i suppose though, its for the best. i got myself into this mess and im gonna have to see it through to the end. its just so hard. i dont know how long ive been traveling and i dont know how far all of this will take me. i lost my passport ages ago. and i cant stand to see it, too see him. it seems everyones life is going on normal around me and im just stuck inside this glass cage with no door. i dont know how i got in and i have no idea how to get back out. i wake up every morning thinking, maybe this is the day i will finally step out of my skin. do something great thats worth a hello, and its so disappointing when i go to bed at night knowing that today wasnt that day.