love until we bleed

i got a smack to the face today. for the longest time all i have wanted was to feel again, and now that i do im not sure how to react. i would like to curl into a ball and sleep for the next year and half. apparently people know more about my life than i do myself.

trench warfare.

i've got this thing that i consider my only art of fucking people over.

why do i get the feeling that things are careening out of control and yet at the same time, know that im just an over reactor? my greatest fear is to be seen as weak or vulnerable and so i over compensate. however, after all my efforts i still haven't gotten anywhere that i want.

i've come to hate the human condition.

melt me.

Falling through a field
The dandelion grave
I will lay here, forever and ever
Sunlight makes us feel
And people go away
And I will lay here, forever and ever
Falling through a field
The dandelion grave
I will lay here, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever

writers block

its a terrible feeling when my mind goes blank. there are so many emotions inside myself yet all of them are subdued at the moment, numb thumbpricks in the back of my mind. my head is void, a hollowness fills my bones. it gets me when nothing ever gets me or gets to me. this yearning inside of me is pressing at all times, blocking out all the things i once found familiar. i no longer feel lifeless, the appeal to be free calls out to me more than ever, yet it has replaced every other emotion.

M street

inspirations for the new bedroom