second hand goods

im not sure why i feel so disappointed. i knew it would happen, i'm not any different than the people that came before me. from the stories and the gloomy stares, i know there were a lot. despite my expectations, being so blatantly replaced is hard to deal with. i am extreme, i go from a state of happy aloofness to a hardened stare where all i can see is gray. it happens daily, i don't want to feel like this, where things are slipping away, where nothing is in my control and i lose sight of happiness with a fleeting glance. logic tells me that unsteady emotions are part of being young, but young i am not. i have lived for thousands of years in the trees and the grass, in the oceans and in the meadows. i saw the trojans march on rome, i heard the shot at fort sumpter, i felt the berlin wall come crashing down around me. the same blood pulses through all of humanity and yet i couldn't be more different from the people around me.